A Problem With Circumcision

I was at work today and a woman was having a conversation with one of her coworkers about, what I inferred was, circumcising her baby. I have a serious issue with that topic being discussed in the workplace as I am one who is often had supervisors discussing appropriate and inappropriate work conversations. I also have serious and fundamental problems with the idea of circumcision.

A) That's how nature made us, the foreskin has protective/hygienic functions as well as sexual functions. The practice of circumcision is ancient and has cultural and religious roots, yet these were originally dependent on the beliefs and customs of those ancient cultures. The Christian and Hebrew faith tells that Abraham was given direction from God that he should circumcise his son and himself as a sign of his faith, and that it would distinguish the Jews from the gentiles. It was also much more hygienic in ancient times since they didn't have readily accessible hot water to be able to clean underneath the foreskin on a regular basis. So why do we continue the practice now, 3,000 years later?

B) There is no choice for the infant or toddler whether they should be circumcised or not. It is a decision the parents make regardless of whatever the child may eventually want in the matter, and it is a surgical alteration to the child's natural body that is common practice in the United States. It is a problem when male circumcision is considered 'normal' or becomes common practice in a culture that considers female circumcision to be a violation of human rights. It is also a problem because it is an either-or situation, once the foreskin is removed it cannot be truly restored and there are enough instances of improper methods and failed circumcision and the effects on the emotional/psychological health of the child later on that there should be more awareness of its violation of the child's rights.

What bothers me most about the practice is that the children aren't given a choice and the fact that as they grow, there is no basis for comparison to call into question whether or not it was right for the alteration to have occurred. I was never given a choice and now in my adult years, I wish my parents hadn't decided to go ahead with it. I am also not sure how much thought goes into the decision among most parents. If hygiene is the consideration, we are in an age of easy cleaning. Parents use soft disposable tissue already soaked in antibacterial soap to clean the child between baths, and it is a simple matter of pulling back the foreskin to clean the penis until the child is old enough to clean it himself. If it is a matter of ethnicity or religious beliefs, there are plenty of Catholics from Spanish-speaking countries who are not circumcised. Also, and while I have no statistics on it, the fact that circumcision has become such a widely encouraged means of preventing the spread of HIV in African states suggests that there are probably many uncircumcised men there, and at least a few of them are from predominantly Islamic countries. How does it prevent the infection? The mucosal layer of the foreskin is there to delay penetration into the skin by foreign bacteria and parasites, if cleaned properly, there should be no substantial increase in the infection rates as the infection would still have the primary means of entry, through the urethra, or the possible secondary, through cutes or sores on the shaft of the penis.

There is no reason for the barbaric practice of circumcision to continue in an age of Clorox wipes and antibacterial soap. While the beliefs of it may have changed over time, the horrible instruments used in the act have changed little. It violates the rights of the young child, hasn't shown any significant reduction in disease that can't be attributed to the reduction of sexual activity caused by lack of sensation brought on by the additional abrasion on the head of the penis once the foreskin is removed, and it one of the first steps parents can take to force an identity on their child, by taking away his ability to control his own body.

Links for more information on circumcision:

http://www.circumcision.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision

Setting the Tone for Everything

So, here's the deal, I'm 28 on Friday and I'll have only had one boyfriend, who never actually said anything about us being together, and we were only together for a month. I know that's shitty in comparison to so many heterosexual couples my age, and in fact compared to all of my friends, but that's what happens when you are crazy and between the periods of deep and scary depression there are bouts of feverish mania with intermittent manic outburst of uncontrollable and terrifying rage. I'm on plenty of meds now, though, so that is supposed to make everything better. How could someone in those circumstances ever expect to find someone that wasn't as chronically ill as they? That's on top of any body issues I have. I'm a thin blondish haired twink trapped in the body of a 250+ pound hairy gay man and have been ever since I can remember. I've always had a tough time with my body, for reasons that are due to abuse and not so much a gradually developed poor self esteem. It makes it crippling to go out and interact with anyone in social settings like bars or even at parties. I went through periods of desperate loneliness, especially as my depressive symptoms grew stronger and stronger, but now I am in a place of quiet desperation as I feel like I've wasted more and more time. You see, I'm never going to be that happy, pretty, young person, ever. I wasn't when I was younger, and I'll never be that as I grow older. That's a tough thing for me to face, especially when I compare it to the brief times I've had some companionship, aside from my parents, in my life and how satisfying I found that to be.

I try not to be bitter about these things, I have accomplished things and I have had friends and seen and done what other people find pretty amazing. Still, it's hard for me to look back and be satisfied with my past since there was such long periods of unhappiness. Now, at 28, I find myself truly enjoying very few things. I find happiness to be fleeting and struggle and heartache and pain to be constant. It's something that some people find melodramatic and I've heard many many people say that everyone has problems, everyone struggles, life is hard...But that's not true. Life doesn't have to be a struggle, and usually its the results of peoples' actions that make them have to struggle, but that's not what I'm talking about...What I'm talking about is the way that truly poor people have no ability to move out of poor neighborhoods, their school systems are broken so there isn't really a viable education available, most young people only see the violence and poverty immediately surrounding them and so they have no ability or even plan to escape that world. That's struggle. People with AIDS who have to manage the world of public assistance, finding a place to life, work, mental health, discrimination wherever they go if people know their status, or how the fear of other people will cause coworkers, etc,... to react if they know, and all of this on top of taking 30 pills a day which often make them too sick to eat.

Those people know struggle. I know struggle. When you can't make yourself get out of bed, when you can't even appreciate the colors of the trees and flowers, laughing children, or good weather, when debating and planning suicide are a constant activity in your down moments or when a TV show or movie can rock you so badly that you are physically ill for days, that is struggle. When you can't go to work because the dreams you have been having have progressively made you more erratic and make you so physically sick you are practically paralyzed for hours, that is struggle, and none of those are exaggerations at all.

Most people don't have to struggle like that. Yes, everyone has problems and life is hard, but not everyone has to struggle like that, not everyone has problems like that. That's why I hate people, possibly with good intentions, who have no ability to really grasp the kinds of things that fuck with me on a minute to minute basis judge me or tell me, you have control over what you say and do...Shut up, you don't know, you have no idea what it's like to be so full of rage that you watch yourself like you are in a movie as you run around the house screaming and with the irresistible urge to break things, or to hurl things at people around you trying to calm you down.

How can I expect anyone to want to deal with that for thirty years, much less weeks or months.